The Numbers Game

Today I am tired and lazy.  I should be getting some work done for tomorrow, or cleaning up my messy home, or... I don't know.  Whatever it is, instead of doing that, I'm browsing around Pinterest (I hate Pinterest) and watching a romantic comedy.

Also, I'm doing some calculations.

I don't know if you've realized this yet, but I really like numbers.  I really like doing calculations.  In high school, I would figure out my projected grade in every class, in every possible manner.  For example, what's the best grade I can get in Geometry if I were to just skip this next test? Now what's my projected grade in Geometry (by assuming that the rest of my homework/test grades will continue on for all future homework/tests) if I skip this test?  Get an A on this test?  Get a D on this test?  You get the idea.  I also did this as a favor for other similarly neurotic but less mathematically inclined members of my class.  These days, I like calculating body fat percentages.  And monthly budgets.  And estimating future weight loss goal-dates.  And calculating debt repayment schedules.

This fact, and the fact that I have an historical tendency to read while I walk, well, these things are in a constant battle to win the award of "Nerdiest thing about me".

Anyway, back to the numbers.  I like numbers because they're objective and constant and in general they help me feel like I have a better understanding of my universe.  So those people who say that you "shouldn't look at the numbers" when losing weight, that you should just focus on how you feel in your own body, well, those people are stupid and wrong.  The numbers are the very thing I work for.

My measurements... of course I know them.  But they're my own business.  And you don't get to know them.  And seriously, isn't that a little crazy??  If you ever, ever read this site, you know my weight.  You've even seen terrifying and graphic pictures of my giant shortly-post-baby belly.  (Sidenote:  I like to scroll up from the bottom and watch myself get fatter.  Then at the top picture, I say, "Bloop!" when my belly gets too big to fit in my shorts.  It's nice.)  You've seen all of that, but I will absolutely not be telling you my measurements.  Those are my numbers and they are private.

Anyway, all that nerdiness and potential psychopathy aside, here's some numbers on my mind now:

176- Starting post-Kaden weight
minus
120- Goal weight
equals
56 total pounds to lose.  Oye.  That's an awful big number.

150- Current weight
Which means:
26 pounds lost
30 pounds to go

Meaning that as of today I am 46% of the way finished with this mess.  I thought this all up today and realized that the number was smaller than 50% and I was super duper bummed out.

But here's two bits of good news to pull me back from the edge.  Numero one: I only have 3.5 more pounds to lose to reach my lowest pre-preggo weight.  That means all of this starts to "count" as real life weight-loss sometime in the (hopefully) not too distant future.  That'll be a good day.  Also, number dos:  weight loss isn't like debt, where you have it and you have it and you have it until it's gone.  It gets better along the way.  I wore my good ol' size 6 skinny jeans today, AND they were fully buttoned, WITH a belt, AND a tres chic lady from my church told me that, in my skinny jeans and 9 year old over-sized dress shirt, I ALSO looked tres chic. That was awesome, whereas, a couple of months ago, I couldn't button any of my jeans so I was still wearing maternity pants.  That was less awesome.

This journey is hard.  Even when it's fast, it's very, veeeery slow.  But today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow, hopefully it's better yet.

That's all for tonight.  Movie's over, which means that it is bed time for this lady.   See you later internets!