19 Days and Counting!

I didn't want to, guys. I was exhausted and the kids were already in bed and I'd just recently eaten dinner and I did NOT want to do it.

But I did it.

And then I cried without tears for just a minute. And now drinking water makes me feel like I'm going to throw up.

But guys, I did it.

And I want to say that some days, that's good enough. But truth? I think maybe that's the BEST. Because exercise is easy when it's easy. It's pleasant when you want to do it. But when every ounce of you screams to please please flop onto the couch? That's when it really counts. That's when you're not giving in to your sad lazy self. That's when you know you're making a difference. (This is when you should picture me, standing on top of our ottoman, gazing wistfully off over my right shoulder while a towel-cape drapes down my back, blown softly by a very mysterious breeze.  You got the image? Good. Then we may continue.)

This week has had more "don't wanna" than "wanna" days for me. The last slide to day 21 has had an unusually large number of bumps in it. Many of those rough days were enhanced by work and life occurrences, lots of surprises, some great, some less than. But the point here is that I DID IT EVERY FREAKING DAY AND NOW IT'S ALMOST DONE. Woohoo!

Beginning of this week, I bought myself a present, because of masochism, I suppose.

8 pounders, so that I officially have something to call my "heavy" weights. Week 2, I thought arm day was easy. Week 3, arm day made me cry. But just to make me feel worse about myself, my 5 year old skin -and-bones daughter has started using 5 pound weights as her heavy weights (her Barbie dolls are her light weights, everybody saw awwwwwww). But anyway, I'm looking down at my tiny little pipsqueak of a daughter doing her variation of the same moves as me, using weights that are each only 3 pounds less than the ones I'm using and... geez. It's about time I crank it up.

Doggy dog doesn't like when we exercise.  All that excited movement going no where seems to drive her into a tizzy. Also, that blue thing there used to be her ball. Also also, cutest dog you've ever seen, right? I thought so.

Anyway, back to it. I've cheated a bit, I'll be honest. Little bit last weekend, little bit yesterday. However, I think, I never cheated TOO bad. I walked into it with eyes open, and tried to make good choices around the bad ones. And honestly, there was maybe a nice thing about the cheats: I'm learning how to LIVE this diet. I'm learning how to incorporate a bad meal, a singular dessert, or a bad day, and not turn it into a gorging, lazy week slash life.

And also? The weight is coming off.  It's noticeable and I know that because I'm choosing to wear some clothes that normally freak me out. And those clothes don't freak me out so much anymore. And I feel good about that. (There goes that towel cape again.)

And then there's this thing where I keep showing everyone my muscles. And yes, I'm aware that this makes me look like a 3 year old, but sometimes, maybe, toddlers have the right idea about things. And really, you should see my muscles.

2 days to go friends! This can be done!