Pictures.... yikes.

So I did the unthinkable yesterday.  I did the shameful.  I did the brutally embarrassing.  I took pictures of my fat-ness parts.  The answer is no.  Just don't ask, you can't see them.  And yes, I know that I share super duper embarrassing facts and words and things and well, I guess I should probably apologize for that, but no to the pictures.  Pictures are different.

Anyway, I digress.  I've not wanted to take "before" pictures of myself because, originally, eww.  And then later, lately, it feels kind of unfair.  Taking before pictures right now feel unfair because I'm 35 pounds into the journey.  And of course, because I never took the original eww pics, I've got nothing to compare current pictures to that might make me feel much better about now.  (You know the, "ugh, this is not good, but look, it's much less not good than the previous not good" feeling.)  Quite seriously, I want to look at my belly and say, sure it's bad, but you should see the other guy.  Or girl.  Or picture from 6 months ago.  You get the idea, right?

But today I got a little impulsive and took the pictures.  Front, back, close up on the belly.  Ugh.  It was rough, I'm not going to lie.  Taking a close up picture of your stomach is a little horrifying.  My tummy picture, for example, had a scary low threatening voice and looked capable of stomping over large buildings.  But I decided that I'd rather look at my today as a new beginning, rather than an ending.  I want to look so good this summer, that pictures of me now work just as well as "before" pictures would have.  Maybe one day you'll get to see those pics, next to ones of me with a toned arms, a perky butt and a feminine yet noticeably distinct six pack.  Here's hoping for that day.  In the mean time, I hope the mental image of giant chubby bellies marching over Tokyo doesn't haunt your dreams tonight.