Inspiration: The Musical (Number)

I've heard the same comment in response to my blog for the past few months, but it wasn't until this last day or two that I really HEARD it.  "Ashley, I've been reading your blog, and it's sooooo inspiring!"  Well that's flattering, thanks.  "Wow, I just can't believe you're running so much!" Yeah, it's a lot of work, but I'm enjoying it. "And you're looking GREAT."  Oh, yeah, thanks for noticing, it's been "So yeah I started working out lately.  I'm running all the time now because, you know, I thought, IF SHE CAN DO IT SO CAN I." Wait... What?  

Something just happened there.  Something went wrong.  It took months for this fact to penetrate my defensive wall of self-aggrandizement, but it finally hit me like a punch in the girl-nads this week.  IF SHE CAN DO IT, SO CAN I.   What is THAT supposed to mean??? It means no one thinks I'm awesome.  No one thinks I'm cool and impressive and neat.  I'm not someone to be inspired UP to, I'm to be inspired OVER.  Essentially, people have been telling me FOR MONTHS NOW,  that I have been shaming them into working out.  Because well, if that lazy sack of fat lady can go for a jog, geez, I should be an Olympic runner sometime next week.  Please excuse the excessive use of CapsLock, I get a little pinky-heavy when my head is about to explode.

So how do I respond to this one?  How do I proceed from here?  Because, it may surprise you to know that there is a real live person on the other side of all this inspiration.  I've thought about it, and I've decided it's cool.  I'll be your schlub.  I'll be your lowest common denominator.  And in dedication of this decision, I have teamed up with my dear and devoted husband and written a song for your listening (by which I mean reading) pleasure.  Play the music.  Read the lyrics.  You'll see how it goes.  From me to you, from you back to me, this is what we've got for you today.

So gear up Maestro, it's time to rock:

You know that you were meant to be

The kind of girl that’s fat forever

So here’s my praise backhandedly

Cuz you’re a 3 and I’m at least a 9

Even though, you’ve lost some weight I know

I still see your thighs, your muffin top, your belly rolls

CHORUS:

Lady,

You are why I exercise

You’re my inspiration

Your blog’s got me mesmerized

You’re my inspiration

You’re so stinkin’ chubby

I can’t believe you started running

But if you can do it Lady I CAN TOO

Look at you (look at you) Look at me and it’s plain to see

Just how vastly I am better

Now I know (Now I know) that your Mii has slimmed on Wii

But you’re a 3 and I’m at least a 9

Even though, you’ve lost some weight I know

I still see your thighs, your muffin top, your belly rolls

(CHORUS)