On my way to losing a marathon!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Backsides and other suchiness

I haven't posted much about Madelyn yet, and that's been deliberate.  Mostly, I am very well aware of how easily it would be for me to devolve into a pile of mommy-mush and spend the rest of this blog gushing over the awesomeness of my daughter until I have neither readers nor friends left over.  But then, everything in moderation, my kid's gettin' talked about now.

A couple weeks ago Madelyn started patting herself in the crotch during diaper changes and insistently, and repeatedly, saying "Dada".  Shane and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.  Shane, you are SOOO going to jail!  It took me a couple of days to figure out that our incriminating child was really telling us about her diaper.  Madelyn's at the stage where most words consist of repeated consonant-vowel combos, so diaper sounds exactly the same as daddy.  Problem solver?  I taught her to call that her "bottom" (Bah, bah).   Amusing consequence?  She patted me on the butt the other day and said it.  Yes, that's mommy's bottom, Sweetie.  Next lesson is in personal space.

Monday, December 20, 2010

My belt is stretching.

This thought may not be the most logical one I've had lately, but just the same, I find I have it quite a lot.  When I got down from around 190 to about 175, I bought myself a new belt.  Now according to this belt, I've lost at least 3-4 inches around my waist since its purchase.  It seems like nearly every time I put the belt on I'm able to pull it a smidge tighter.  And my automatic thought every time this happens?  Wow, I'm really stretching this belt out.

Cuz that's the thing with weight loss.  It's hard to internalize the change happening to you.  It's hard to really believe, for example, that I went from someone who was considered "Obese" (Sorry, I still have a hard time with that word), to someone who is, as of this morning, a mere 1.6 pounds overweight.  (Oh right, today also marks the end of the weight loss posting hiatus, and this morning's weight in was 156.6, in case anyone is curious).  It's sort of like, it looks great on paper, or on the scale, as it were, but it's hard to actually change one's picture of herself in any real way.  Throwing my jeans back in the dryer to get that same "shrink-effect" I'm used to, complaining about bagged-out sweaters, and a stretching belt are easier ways for my brain to explain any change.

But of course, I'm cool with that.  My brain make take convincing, but the facts don't lie.  I'm still overweight, but hopefully by the end of the week, I won't be able to say that anymore.  I'm still above my goal weight by about 15-20 pounds, but that's peanuts compared to the 50+ pounds I was staring down the barrel of only a few months back.  I have by no means finished the journey, but despite how I may feel about it, I KNOW that good things are happening.  And that, in itself, is worth all the work.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Apparently I'm the Grinch.

Yup.  That's right, ya heard it here first folks.  Apparently I'm a cranky old Biddy who hates Christmas and children and wants to spoil everyone's fun for my own personal gratification.


Well, not quite that.  But something like that.


I found myself at one of my client's schools yesterday during their "Christmas pageant" practice.  Christmas pageant gets quotes due to the flagrant looseness with which it is being applied here.  And I know, I promise you, I KNOW, that for years now, children have not been able to use the highly offensive name of Baby Jesus during this most sacred of Santa-visiting days, but this may have been the first time I've actually been personally subjected to the results.  At least as an adult, I suppose.  


So instead, we jingle bells and rock around the clock and praise the glory of the little fat man who brings you presents when you're a good little boy or girl.  And ya know what thought came to mind?  This is stupid.  Really stupid.  Christmas is just, ridiculously and incredibly stupid.  It's a Marshmallow World in the winter??!?  What the mild obscenity is that????   Cuz here's the thing:  Christmas, while it does take some traditions from various heathen cultures, (such as putting a pine tree up in our living rooms and celebrating during winter solstice), has a freakin meaning.  Christ's Mass.  Christmas is a holiday, a HOLY day, commemorating the sacrifices made by Christ, entering human form to love and live and serve and die on our behalf.  


When you try to "celebrate" Christmas with no acknowledgement of the amazing gift we have been given, the gift for which worshipful and joyful celebration is so incredibly warranted, what are you left with?  Stories of fat old guys climbing into peoples homes wearing sweatsuits.  Stupidly decorated yards.  Vague notions of magic and family, and a once-a-year filled obligation to go see the parents.  Greediness and over gratified children, who demand a second XBox 360 for their bedroom television so they don't have to share with their siblings.  


It's this Christmas that I find disgusting.  It's revolting.  It offends me to my very core. Christmas is meant to be the celebration of the greatest gift we could ever hope to receive.  In commemoration of this gift, we give gifts to one another.  We take a moment to remember this amazing thing that has been done for us, and we remember to love each other a little bit more, to spread and share this gift with those around us.  It's important, it's sacred, and it is, in fact, truly magical.


So no, I don't think I'm really the grinch.  Our tree was decorated immediately after we came home from our Thanksgiving trip, and there is a chubby inflatable  Santa gracing our front lawn.  In truth, I love all of this, the decorating, the gift giving, the feasting and time with family.  But I love it BECAUSE it's meaningful.


And to the schools and establishments who find my Jesus so terribly offensive, good for you.  But if you decide to chuck Christ, chuck Christmas too, please.  You're bastardization of my Holy day, your picking and choosing and changing until all significance is lost, well, it is so offensive to me.  Please, get your own celebration day.  Leave CHRISTmas to those of us celebrating Christ.




Below, in case you're curious, are some of the lyrics we celebrate Christmas with these days :-)


NOEL
To spell Santa's name, is easy to do...
You write S, A, N, T, and another A too...
But No L, No L, Santa's name has no L...
And he wun be too pleased if you don't learn to spell...

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch water from a well,
But when neither one could find it, Jill started to yell...
"No well, no well, can't believe there's no well! We walked all the way here and I'm mad can’t you tell..."

Captain Ahab took his crew his harpoon and set sail...
And he called out to ships "Have you seen the white whale?"
"No whale, No whale, No we ain't see no whale...
Saw a couple of dolphins, and a big yellow tail..."

"Grrr..."

If you listen to this tune, then you probably can tell...
That you've heard it before, it's a song you know well...
Know Well, Know Well, it's a song you know well...

And we've ruined it completely so we all say "Oh Well"

Oh Well, Oh Well, we just say fare thee well...
Merry Christmas to you and a joyous Noel...



Marshmallow World
Ahhhh, it's a marshmallow world in the winter,
When the snow comes to cover the ground.
It's the time for play, it's a whipped cream day,
I wait for it the whole year round!

Those are marshmallow clouds being friendly,
In the arms of the evergreen trees;
And the sun is red like a pumpkin head,
It's shining so your nose won't freeze!

The world is your snowball, see how it grows,
That's how it goes, whenever it snows.
The world is your snowball just for a song,
Get out and roll it along!

It's a yum-yummy world made for sweethearts,
Take a walk with your favorite girl.
It's a sugar date, so what if spring is late,
In winter it's a marshmallow world!

It's a marshmallow day in the winter,
When the snow comes to cover the ground.
It's the time for play, it's a whipped cream day,
And we wait for it the whole year round!

Just you remember that,

Those are marshmallow clouds being friendly,
In the arms of the evergreen trees;
And the sun is red like a pumpkin head,
It's shining so your nose won't freeze!

You must remember that,

The world is your snowball, see how it grows,
That's how it goes whenever it snows.
The world is your snowball just for a song,
Get out and roll it along!

It's a yum-yummy world made for sweethearts,
Take a walk with your favorite girl.
It's a sugary date, so what if spring is late,
In winter it's a marshmallow world...
In winter it's a marshmallow world...
In winter it's a marshmallow world...
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