Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Working my butt off... but of course, that's the objective here...

It's been a rough stinking month for weight loss, I'll be honest.  I've experienced bursts of motivation toward working out which were undercut by an unhealthy diet, or good diet kicks which were never supported by working out.  Basically, I've been losing the same 3-4 pounds since before Christmas, over, and over, and over again.  At this point I'm back to the lower end of the swing (158.8 today), but have still been feeling pretty discouraged about this whole journey.  Wretched defeating thoughts haunt me.  Then, they try to feed me french fries and brownies.

So I'm taking a new perspective.  Again.  After a couple of good days with both diet and working out, I felt I needed a boost to keep on keepin' on.  There are a couple of places where I've tracked my weight (I can recommend, nice trackers and a good community), and I went ahead and checked those out today.  32.2 pounds.  I don't care who you are, 30+ pounds, well, that's nothing to sneeze at.  What that means is I can carry around my 15 month old daughter, and both my 5 lb weights and then be just barely above what I weighed this past summer.  That's a little bit amazing.  Carrying my 23 pound daughter alone is exhausting, how did I walk around every day with that PLUS an extra 9 pounds? Even thinking about that makes me want to nap.

So that helped.  Now I'll admit, thinking about losing the weight I still want to see gone is exhausting too.  But just when I may have started feeling down (FYI, exhaustion makes one want to snack on supremely unhealthy foods.  Don't know why, but I'm pretty sure it's science.)  I decided to take a shopping trip to splurge off of a left over Christmas gift card.  My mission:  New Jeans.  The last time I bought jeans was last April, and they were a size 14.  I felt like I was being slowly laser-beamed toward the nearest Lane Bryant.  Today, I was quite pleasantly surprised to find that I am back down to a size 8!

Now previously I made a self-promise to buy some skinny jeans once I hit size 8... I'm not quite ready for that yet.  We might have to make that wait till size 6.  Or maybe 4.  We'll see how it goes.

So for all of you weight loss dreamers out there, know this:  Weight loss, like anything that is really, really worth doing, is hard.  It takes sacrifice and serious life change.  Every time I try it without acknowledging those facts, I fail.  But it's also possible, and it's also really, truly worth it.

Have a good night y'all!

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