Monday, July 25, 2011

An Ode to One Lonely Soda

There is one more soda in the fridge.

One lonely soda, and, when I drink it, there will be no sodas.  And it will be all my fault.

Not because I drank the soda.  No.  That is what soda is for: to be enjoyed by happy addicts like myself.  But after sometime tomorrow, when I inevitably decide to drink that one last Diet Dr. Shasta, I've decided to something stupid and impulsive and life changing.

I've decided to go off soda.  Yeah, I know.  Probably for a month or something, at least that's the goal for now.

I'm not sure why I've decided this.  No wait, that's not true.  I decided it because I was watching Extreme Makeover: Chubby Bunny Edition, and I felt super inspired to take one giant leap in my effort to be "Lookin' Great by Twenty Eight".... or another slogan for my weight loss goal that doesn't sound like someone should slap my mother for having given birth to me.  Right.

What I DON'T know is why I feel the need to take each stupid impulse I have so friggin seriously.  Remind me this later:  Just because I have a thought, doesn't mean I need to act on it.  In fact, thoughts are real easy to move past!  Look: boop.  Just had one.  Then I moved on.  Wow!  Please remind me of this moment if I ever decide to say, shave off all my hair,  go on any singular-food-item diet or try any program that includes the words "colon cleanse". Nnnno. If God had intended for us to clean out our colons.... nnnnno.

I'll give you another update when that last soda is gone and this thing actually starts.  I'm pretty excited about the fact that I've found a way to make my summer a little bit worse, so I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot about it.

Hope you are.... not so flippant with your life choices!

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