On my way to losing a marathon!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Happy New Year (And 2 weeks)!!!!!

Recently, I've had this same experience repeated maybe, 4... or 5... or 6 times.  I said something that was (cross my heart, hope to die) said in total innocence, to people I care about, and I somehow managed to offend someone.  Againandagainandagain.  Once, it seemed to have happened 3 times in the same day.  And the last time it happened, I got yelled at, and couldn't think of a way to explain myself.  So now I feel embarrassed and ashamed and afraid of who else I might hurt so I'd rather just talk to my husband because he's been my best friend for almost 9 years and even if I do hurt his feelings I really think that, at this point, he can take it.  So this tongue tied-ness has expanded, and I've avoided most of the internet except for twitter, because really, what damage can even I do with only 140 characters?  Dear Lord, I hope it's not a lot.  I have been thinking about this blog, and I think about saying something, and I get nervous and scared and decide, that it's probably best to remain silent and be assumed a jerk than to open my mouth and remove all doubt.  That's from the Bible.  Or some president or something.  I'm pretty sure that's right.  Anyway, the point is that I really, really, really don't want to hurt people's feelings.  You crazy bunch of jerks.


Okay, now that I got the insults out of my system (because maybe it's better to know exactly how I'm being insulting then doing it purely by accident) I can get on to my second reason for not writing here lately.

Basically, it's that I'm not funny anymore.  Was I funny before?  That, my dear, is a fair question which I will not answer because it hurts my feelings.  But what i can say is that I tried.  A bunch.  I wanted this blog to be light hearted and feel good and relatable.  But lately, everything I can think to say is deep and hard hitting and probably (experience dictates) highly insulting.

But for my first (albeit, terribly belated) post of this 2012, by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!, I'd like to make note of some new years goals I've got happening:

1) Memorize the book of John.  I've forgone reading through my Bible this year and decided to focus on committing this one book to memory. So far, I'm at John 1:34, and it's hard, and it's kind of awesome.  Focusing on a lot more of the words that I might have skimmed right through before.  I can't recommend it till I've done it, but I'll keep you posted on my progress.

2) Stay below 190 for this pregnancy.  No easy feat, considering I'm already at 172 as of this morning.  The pounds have been coming on quick the last few months, and I foresee a great deal of Slim Fast and exercise in my future.  Ah well, weight loss stories are just the most fun things ever, right?

3) See the underside of 140 before 2013.  I got into the 140's this past year.  I never thought I'd see them again.  This year, I'd like to push that even farther.

4) Run to my mom's house again.  It's right around 13 miles away, and though I probably won't do another official half marathon, for a while at least, I want to run that much again soon.  And faster.

5) Cash flow the baby and pay off my next lowest student loan.  We budget now, and we're working Ramsey's "debt snowball", which has just recently finally started to roll.  The downside to having nothing BUT student loan debt is that we have no "little" debts.  We have big chunks of debts that are thousands of dollars each, and take a lot of pushing.

6) Get an Iphone.  Totally disagrees with my last point, I know, but they look like phone.  And my Ipod is crapping out on me, so I think it's time for a replacement anyway, if you think about it.

So that's where this year is, and those are some of the things you can look forward to reading about in the future.  Also, sorry if I start ranting about things like this generation and solid theology and the Church, because that's bound to happen to, unless I find a more appropriate place to empty my brain of all of these thoughts.  But if I do, I'd love some conversation, and some stone cold argument on anything if it's deemed necessary :-)

Hope you're all doing well, and keeping up with some things YOU'VE resolve to this past few weeks!

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