Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Flall Feet Flaberlous FIVE!

Soooooo WHO's interested in knowing how much I weight today?!?

Oh you are, aren't you?

You're just sitting there, waiting with bated breath....

You've been thinking about it ALL WEEK, and you haven't been able to rest, right?


Wait... you mean, that's not right?
You do not care and I am a sad.

Now I'll contemplate the purpose of my life and things....

Well I have decided to tell you how much my fat is, even if you do not care.  So here is a picture of a picture of my scale, cuz I do not feel like transferring the picture tonight, and as you may be able to tell, I already had Photobooth open.

Here is my phone and my scale and my big fat hobbity feet. The picture is backwards, but it's not wrong, it's art.  Backwardsy-style art.

I have made a decision over the last couple of days.  That decision is that I weigh less than 140 pounds.  Or at the very least, the decision is that I will do everything possible, up to and including cutting off my left nut (I don't have a left nut, lost it in 'nam) to weigh less than 140 by next Monday.  Watch me.  I'm getting over being sick, I'm doing better on my diet and unlike the last few weeks, I don't have any junk food related traps coming up this weekend.  And I'm freaking sick of weighing the same flipping thing every dang-ed day.

Also, I'm motivated by photography.  More specifically, I saw some picture from this past Saturday, and my butt still looks like something that might someday terrorize the good people of Tokyo. RRRAAAWR! BUTT-ZIRRA!  You get what I mean.  I don't typically have the pleasure of seeing my own backside photographed unawares, but my kind Aunt seems to have taken it upon herself to remedy this.  I'm also feeling less confident about the sweater-dress/crazy tights combo I'd chosen to wear that day, though I'm not saying I've totally ruled it out for the future.  I just know now how it looks and... harumph.

Anyway, the challange this week was to talk about something you're thankful for.  Now you probably think I'm going to talk about my kids, or my marriage, or my home or job or faith, all of which I'm OUTGRAGEOUSLY thankful for, but you would be wrong.  I'm gonna tell you about a new thing I'm thankful for.

It's that I trained my husband to compliment me every time he sees me naked.

I said naked.  So all of you can stop reading now and go throw up a little if you want.

I have this tendency, after having a really good weigh in, to come find my husband and show off my lower weight by striking some really impressive superhero pose.  Usually I find it too exciting and important to waste time putting on clothes first.  When he sees me strike my superhero pose, he knows that I had a good weigh in, and he tells me how thin I look.

But then the other day I was about to take a bath, and I realized, post-stripping down, that I was missing the stylus for my DS (I was going to lie and say I needed to get a book, but that would be a lie.  I was playing Spirit Tracks).  I walked into the living room and husband saw.  "Yeah, you look good!  Lookin' really thin!"

I wasn't feeling thin.  It seemed totally out of the blue until I realized:  I accidentally taught my husband to compliment me anytime he sees me naked.  Which is awesome and which I am thankful for, because naked is the EXACT time that I want to be complimented by my husband.

Anyway, bet you weren't expecting me to talk about THAT, am I right?  I bet this time, I AM right. HA.

Have a wonderful night, y'all.  Get emotionally prepared to be hit in the face with the knowledge that I WEIGH LESS THAN 140 POUNDS, because it's freakin coming, yo!

Nighty night!

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