Scale: Hey, guess what?!? You did it! You've met your goal for the week, (and it's only Wednesday, you ambitious little thing) and you're officially down to 139.8!
Me: WOAH. Seriously?!?
Scale: HA. No. You're still totally a fatass. Just thought I'd screw with you a little. In fact, you've GAINED a little since yesterday... what have you been eating?
Me: NOTHING!!! I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'VE EATEN NOTHING!
Scale: Yeah... see, I don't know about that. You're starting to look a little extra thick around the middle...
And that's why we no longer have a bathroom scale.