Sunday, May 6, 2012

Forgive me Internets, for I have sinned. It has been a whole bunch of days since my last blog post.

Last minute thoughts seems to have been a pretty good title for my post on the 26th, since it wasn't more than 18 hours later that I found myself being stitched back into something vaguely resembling a human while I held my brand new, 8lb 1oz bundle of awesome in my arms.  He arrived, against all odds, exactly on schedule.  Seriously, the US postal service should hire him to shape that place up.

Long graphic story short (because I never know who reads this thing, and there are some people who I might need to make direct eye contact with over the next couple weeks), we got home Saturday afternoon, he's an incredible sleeper, his sister is very excited, but a little extra loud and a smidgen extra naughty, just to let us know she's still here.

At this point I've been home for a week.  I've had a couple of days of being alone and outnumbered by my  offspring, I've taken them to the park and we've all three survived, we've joined in with the neighborhood-wide yard sale, I've completed one low impact, 30 minute work out, and today, in about 90 minutes, we're making our first trek to church.  So first, I must relax with coffee, I must emotionally prepare.

Breathe in..... Breath out..... GulpGulpGulp.

Now, on to the purpose of this blog:  Getting my gigantor behind back to some more acceptable size, and if we're lucky, some recognizable shape.

The first week after having a baby is typically filled with loads of little encouargements, especically if you can get over the initial shock of leaving the hospital carrying your newborn and STILL magically looking 6 months pregnant.  During this first week, you feel a little less crippled every day, as your body begins to heal.  You make incredible realizations, such as noting the fact that you can lay on your stomach, on your back, on any part of you that you so desire and that's okay.  You'll realize that you no longer need the house to be 58 degrees F, you don't need to sleep in a sitting up position to avoid constant stomach acid blasting holes in your esophagus, you don't need to support every inch of your girth with stacks of pillows, and if you're lucky, swelling and restless leg syndrome are almost instantaneously a thing of the past.

Another thing that feels awesome-sauce is the weight loss.  Coming home from the hospital, you may only weight 8-10 pounds less than you did when you went in.  For me, I went in at 190, came home at 181.  But this was not my first rodeo, and I remember week 1.  Because in week 1, you can lose like, 2 pounds a day for days.  I found myself down to 174 by Thursday, 1 week after heading into the hospital.  Even though you know you just had a baby, and that you're still heavier than you need to be, it really doesn't matter.  Losing 16 pounds in a week is exhilarating.  You FEEL 16 pounds in a week.  And even though your belly and let's be honest, probably some other parts are all gooey and jiggly, catching a glimpse of yourself without that giant belly for the first time in roughly 5 months, well, that'll make you feel like a super model.

Now though, apparently I found the place where the work begins.  Because over the weekend, I actually gained 2 pounds back.  I'm sitting at 176, and my body seems aggravatingly comfortable with that.  Also, one of my neighbors asked me to let him know when I have the baby yesterday, 8 days after I gave birth.  His wife (who generously suggested that I looked maybe 3 months, not NINE months pregnant) got a good laugh at his expense, but just the same.  He's seen me over the past few weeks.  He didn't notice that the "due any day" baby was no longer gestating.  2 pounds weight gain plus terrifying comment from the neighbor does not a big load of self-confidence make.

Ah well, at least I have a freaking adorable son to take my mind of my jiggly jiggly waistline.

So if you're curious, this is how I look today---

Feel free to consider these faceless chubby shots my 2012 "befores", because I absolutely do not intend to spend more than the next week or two looking like this.  Also, they're faceless because I still need to do some hair and makeup.  As ick as this part looks, above the neck is vastly more terrifying at this point.  Especially with the "I wore big sunglasses during the garage sale yesterday so only my nose is sunburned and of all the reindeer,  I most closely resemble Rudolph" look I'm currently sporting.  Oh the hotness, oh the sex appeal.  

Well, that's about it for today, time to sign off and go fix that face I was telling you about.  But before I go, I'll share the 1 goal I've set so far:  Weigh 139 or less before 2013.  I was never able to make it into the 130s last weight loss.  This one's going to be different.  This one's going to need a lot more sit ups.

Have a grand day y'all!!


  1. I smiled the whole time while reading this post. I would like to first of all point out that I think you look better than me in those pictures, and based on the numbers, you shouldn't. So, there. Take that. I weigh a little less (at 2.5 mos postpartum) and I'm pretty sure I'm taller, so what's the deal?! If you think you look big and I think I look bigger, than how fast is the 2nd train traveling? Or something.

    I currently don't like going out in public without my kids, because not only does it mean everyone is looking at them instead of me, I feel like they explain my bulging tummy. "See? She has 2 kids. Her body is either their fault, or she's already popping out another one."

    I was asked when I was due when I was out with both of them. I said that I was due last month, and it took them a second to put it all together.

    I would love to be in the 130s again (don't think I've been there since high school!), but I'm aiming for the 140s. I'm finding it so hard, because my appetite is so huge. Not only do I have more space for my stomach to exist, I can feel my little girl sucking the calories from me when she nurses, and I'm often to lazy to make a good snack choice.

    I'm looking forward to your posts, because I have a feeling they'll mirror what I'm experiencing: babies, toddlers, and finding my body.

  2. I COMPLETELY know what you mean! When you're huge because you're pregnant, people smile at you and look adoringly upon your bloated physique. A week later and instead of feeling like a baby making temple, you just feel like, well, some other, larger, less attractive building. Epcot or something.

    As for any size/weight disparity, you always have to take my head (not pictured) into account. It alone weighs a good 30-40 pounds more than a normal sized head.

    Keep me up on your progress, I'd love a little commiseration!!


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