Yesterday, I learned why I have a weight problem. So that was fascinating.
So for the specifics: Yes, I'm using slim fast again. Yes I'm also snacking throughout the day, but going back to more whole fruits and veggies. Crackers instead of chips. Just, you know, slightly better life choices. And as of last night, I'm counting my calories.
I spent yesterday "cutting back a bit", trying to stick to the circa 1800-2000 calories recommended during nursing. I told Husband that I was surprised, because even trying to cut back to that felt mildly restrictive, and FYI, I really should have been eating that much during my pregnancy too.
Then last night, after finishing my "not terribly restrictive, but cutting back a bit" intake for the day, I sat down with one of my calorie counting phone apps, and decided to plug everything in. The total?
I'd eaten roughly 2600 calories for the day. And that, if you recall, FELT RESTRICTIVE. I felt, throughout the day, all the moments I didn't eat something. I felt I'd been restrained. And for me, right now, restrained looked like 2600 calories. Aye chee freakin wa wa.
I'm convinced now, that most days I've probably been eating somewhere around 3000 calories a day, and I haven't even had to eat fast food to do so.
Oh, and just to solidify this realization, I lost a pound between yesterday and today. I fell from 173 to 172, because my body was so relieved that it hadn't been stuffed with 3000+ calories.
When I had my daughter, I griped that I was never one of those women who naturally lost a lot of weight while breast feeding. Now I realize that this is because I was probably eating 50-100% more calories than I needed in a day. And because I was, well, primarily eating crap, I could very well have been malnourished at the same time. Cuz super duper fat and malnourished is a thing, ya know. Maybe not outside of this country, but it's definitely something we've got here.
Well that's it, folks. I learned to count yesterday, which was disturbing, but weirdly, nice. I don't need to worry about which days I'm going to "randomly" gain or lose weight. I don't need to try and starve myself to lose weight. I just need to stay on the ball. Make better choices. And of course, never never never forget how to count!