Parenting Fail #27,538

In an effort to NOT traumatize my daughter upon the sudden arrival (they say it'll happen one day) of our new little family member, we've been taking some preparatory efforts.

For the most part, we've been trying to prepare her through loads and loads of talking.  We talk about her brother, talk about a new baby, talk about where he is now and when he's coming, and during prayer time she asks God to bless "Mommy, Daddy, Mommy, Madelyn, aaaaaaand Kaden!" (By the way, no, I never asked for double billing in prayer time, but I'm sure as heck not turning it down.)

And all this talking has helped.  She's actually getting excited; mostly of course because she has no idea how ruined her life is about to become, but just the same. Excited.

But as we get closer to the date, closer because time continues marching forward, not because I actually believe that giving birth is going to be part of my new future, I thought we should try some stronger tactics.

The other day, Madelyn was sitting on my lap during one of Kaden's furious kicking fits.  She's not felt him before, she doesn't like me forcing her hand onto my stomach when she has so much running around and jumping to do in her day, but today I thought I might make it happen.  I put the distracted child's hand on my stomach and waited.  Within seconds, she turned to me with shock and delight in her eyes as he kicked her hand.  "Did you feel that?"  "Yeah!" She laughed as she pressed her hand onto my stomach to feel more of the strange sensation.  "That's you're brother, Kaden!"

As those words sunk in, as the truth became realized that Mommy hasn't been joking about having a brother in her stomach, Madelyn's fascination changed.  Her smile faded and her eyes filled with concern and, yes, I'm pretty sure more than just a little bit of horror as realization settled in: Mommy ate her little brother.

To make matters worse, she found some old ultrasound pictures yesterday.  She remembered, it seemed, that these in someway represented Kaden, and she told me as much.  So I sat down with her to show her the face within the picture. "See Madelyn?  There's Kaden's eyes, and nose, and mouth!"  Madelyn looked at me and laughed awkwardly "... ha ha ha, Scary."

It seems my futile attempts at NOT traumatizing my daughter aren't working out so well thus far.  I guess I just never realized how much pregnancy can seem like some sort of supernatural horror flick.

8 days and counting!!