Seriously, Little Dude Baby?

My son, who has been riding impressively low for the past 2 and a half weeks, seems to have found new depths today.  To the degree that, for the past hour or two, standing up straight just seems to be out of the question.  Straightening my body out allows him to sit directly on the nerves running to both legs, sending sharp blasts of pain through my everything, and causing my legs to buckle.

But isn't there some ridiculous solution to this that can remove my pain and high probability of falling, while also making me look like an absolute charicature of a real life human being?  Of COURSE!  I can walk around just fine, so long as I keep my knees bent, and I tilt over at the waist.

Basically, today I look a lot like this:

Just, much heavier, and with more hair.  And without the cane.  Or the word "sample" written across my midsection.  That guy should really have that looked at.

Anyway, 3 weeks left from tomorrow, or less, which is my guess.  We shall see!