On my way to losing a marathon!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Holy Hamstrings, Batman!

Oh. My Body. My poor, sad, Body. I’m so sorry, Body, you didn’t do anything to deserve this. I promise I didn’t mean to hurt you.

It would seem, Friends, that I am wickedly and unforgivably out of shape. You know how I keep saying I go running every now and again? Well, I’m not lying, but I’m apparently it's the saddest most pathetic excuse for running you've ever seen. Like a slightly mobile nap, or something. How long has it been since exercising made me feel like I might throw up? Well, at this point not that long, because it was today, and then before that, it was yesterday. But before THAT… I don’t know. Forever.

I knew this was going to be bad when, immediately after the work out, and then all day long, my legs felt shaky and sore. I tried to stay up, running in place while cooking or unloading the dishwasher, and we went for a 2 mile walk in the evening but alas, I woke up today and every inch of my body below the neck and above the ankles hurts. Oooooh how it hurts. But just the same, Guys, I DID IT. I got up at 6:30 and I did day 2 of 21 (or day 2 of the rest of my life if their insidious plan works as intended), and it was super painful, but painful in a different way, and I’ll be in more pain tomorrow. And there will be evening, and there will be morning, the third day.*

*That was a little bit of Bible I just threw at you. But it was about God creating the universe, and I made it about me trying to be not so fat. So yeah. Pretty much the same thing.

Today was Upper Body Make Your Arms And Torso Cry for Mercy Day. Or something like that. All of the exercises with the weights for me were the easiest, which is probably an indicator that I should switch out my 5 pounders for some 8 or 10 pound weights, but well, leave me alone. Mama needs baby steps. Because 60 seconds of pushups after a million other exercises and showing up sore in the first place and it’s still only 6:45 in the morning and I’d really like another hour of sleep thank you much… terrible. Juuuust terrible.

Oh, and also, tonight after work I made the hugely ill-informed decision to go for a short run to “loosen  up my soreness”. Well, the run instead turned into an awkward sort of waddley stomp-walk, think, if Frankenstein tried to go for an evening jog. And also, now I can’t move at all.


Here’s hoping I get out of bed in the morning!

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