Monday, April 18, 2011

The brain changer

I truly, truly believe it.  You don't get better if you don't see a problem, so hating your body is entire essential to changing your body.

Unfortunately, I don't hate my body that much anymore.  I mean, I'm not posing for any magazine covers here, and I'm not prancing around town in a bikini to show this off, but there's no more screaming when I look in the mirror. Well, there's some screaming of course, but markedly less, that's for certain.

I used to have this tendency to fiddle with the chub on my hips, absentmindedly throughout the day.  Instead, now I find myself flexing my stomach and playing with the muscles that run up and down my sides, where my waist has now, well, become a waist.  This is an unfortunate turn of events.  My hip chub is still there.  I know.  I just checked.  So what made me change my mind about what I think of myself, and how can I go back to loathing myself entirely?  Not sure.  But a nice long masochistic run sounds like just the ticket.  Because remember Ashley, you've got a 1/2 marathon coming up in less than 2 weeks, and at this point there are most assuredly people who will walk faster than you can run. 

Now if that's not a fact that should bring on absolute buckets full of shame and self-loathing, I just don't know what is.

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