Goals

A couple days ago I was really struck by the benefit of having more than one goal on my weight loss path.  And I don't just mean lose weight AND say, look hotter.  Those are basically the same goal.  Also, one of the dirty little secret to weight loss is that it happens really slow in the mirror.  It takes a HECKUVA lot of lost poundage to start thinking you look better.  In the mirror, I still see chubby thighs and saggy belly.   Same basic components as I had 45 pounds ago, but in a smaller package, I suppose.  Something about your brain always seems a bit delusional.  It won't let you see how fat you get, and and it won't let you see how thin you get.  Your brain has a basic idea of what its host looks like, and it's stuck on that image.  Anyway, all this to say, simply "looking hot" will not be a successful or achievable weight loss goal.

I've mentioned before that I like running because when I'm doing that, I'm not thinking about how many pounds I'm losing, I'm thinking of how fast I'm getting, how far I'm going.  When I'm running, generally speaking, weight loss is gravy.  

Lately, I've found there's a flip side to that benefit.  After my big run last weekend, I recalibrated my Ipod, with disturbing results.  On Thursday I ran a short 5k, and pushed myself harder than nearly ever before.  Result: I'm running nearly 2 minutes per mile slower than I thought.  Ouch.  I'm getting pretty severely burned by running, the once-love of my exercise routine, as I realize I'm in much worse shape than I'd thought.  I'm slower than I thought.  I'm feeling more pain in my knees and the arches of my feet.  (I have super-high arches, prone to plantar fasciitis. It's awesome.) I am NOT impressed by anything I've accomplished thus far in my running, and I'm starting to wonder again how much more I can do, how much better I can get, and how soon till I'm in more pain that I can handle.  The 1/2 marathon coming up in a few weeks keeps me going, but will I still be running in May?  That, my dear friends, is a very good question.

So then, what keeps me going these days, when my runner-self is all grumpy and morose?  The answer is, weight loss. Cuz hey, I've lost almost 45 pounds.  I'm thinner today than I was when I graduated high school, when Shane and I met, when we got engaged, and when we got married.  This is the thinnest I've been as a married lady, and running has played a part in that.  

As I'm thinking about this, it occurs to me that I may need to find a third goal, for those days when the scale won't budge and I run like slow slow molasses, but I'm not sure what that is yet. I'll let you know if I ever figure that one out.

But as for now, I think I'm gonna go try on my wedding dress.  Pictures to follow, if I can get it zipped.  If not, pictures to follow when I CAN get it zipped.  In the mean time, happy weekend to you all!